ve had relatives die from it. I’

fertieg97

I’m going to bring up a subject that is very taboo among ALL OF US and that many bloggers do NOT want to tackle. At least I never see it talked about in blogland much – but I have talked about it a great deal here…
After many, many years of self discovery which included more self destructive behaviors, I slowly started to see the error of my ways. It wasn’t a wham-bam wake up call one day though. It has been lots of small steps. Self education. Want. Drive. Striving for better. Realizing there is something greater than myself. Knowing I have a purpose in this life. Being a mom and having the responsibility of three little ones in my hands. Refusing to allow them to go through the pain I have went through…
It’s a subject that is very near and dear to me. I’m still battling it. I’ve had relatives die from it. I’ve got obese family members and friends. I fucking hate obesity and what it has taken from me. And I’m not afraid to say it WITH an f-bomb because it’s something that needs to be emphasized.
I have to leave you with the soundtrack of my life. Enjoy.
Oh – and go kick some ass – AND make a difference in someone’s life today.
Recent Posts: The story of an ‘American Girl’
To making it count
Unveiling FitnessWarriorWear.com – Comfy exercise t-shirts, hoodies & gym towels with the plus size warrior in mind
90 day challenge (courtesy of Coach Anna Gray); more before / during photos
I’d say I’m maybe 45% of the way there. I’m only down 33 lbs in 11 months. If I looked at how much farther I need to go or how slow I’m rolling, I’d never get there. I’ve changed and emerged into something beautiful. You see, I’ve always been beautiful somewhere deep down. I’ve always had the strength to do this. I just didn’t know exactly how or why. I didn’t give it time to develop in the past.
Be available to them. And be supportive. NO MATTER WHAT.
When I see others that are prisoners in their own bodies, my heart aches. Sincerely. I know what it is like to be a prisoner in my own body. I know what it feels like to hate myself in my own skin. I want those in this position to know there IS a way out. It may not be the EASY way out,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], but it is there. THERE IS ALWAYS A WAY OUT!!!! You just have to open your eyes and truly WANT change.
I remember gym class. I remember those stupid ass mandatory physical fitness tests. I HATED all of them. I HATED myself. I HATED that there was no one in my corner. I HATED that I was alone. I slowly began to destroy myself with food. All of the mandated fitness tests in the world wouldn’t (and didn’t) save me.
Here’s me and my brother, whom I affectionately call “Gigger”.
It was just us for many, many years. Love you bubby.
Be out there so they KNOW there is an option. I will intentionally walk or jog where I know there is heavy traffic in my town. Not because I am full of myself or have an ego the size of Texas, but rather I hope that others driving by that are big will see me – and know they can do it too – and not be ashamed. Seriously. This is one of the reasons why I keep my fat girl videos rolling. If I help just ONE person initiate change in their life, I can die happy.
Talk to them and listen to their fears. If they are afraid of others making fun of them, tell them what I tell anyone and EVERYONE that comes at me with that: fuck the haters.
What COULD have saved me? How about positive role models that gave me education and direction on what I was doing to myself? How about someone to hear my stifling cries for help as I would secretly polish off a tub of Cool Whip?
How can you effectively produce change in those that many think are unsaveable? Most cases of obesity (in my opinion) are a reflection of a form of self destruction on the inside. How can you make another obese person want to open their eyes from the deep slumber of self destruction?
Let me tell you a story. The story of my young life. An American Girl.
My parents divorced when I was three. My father took it upon himself to be a selfish son-of-a-bitch and basically uproot himself from my and my brother’s lives at an early age. While he was out traversing the country on his Harley and living the ramblers life of dreams,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], my mother was left with no child support and working two and three jobs at a time to support us and keep a roof over our heads. Which meant we didn’t have a father OR a mother since she was always working.
Some people may look at me and think what a nightmare it is for me to be the size that I am. I look at me and know I’m a work in progress and I’m unfinished and pretty proud of what I see staring back. And I love myself for having the courage to make changes to allow my eyes to be open and receptive to change. I can take in the beauty of the little AND big things now. My soul has changed on this journey.
Oh, and love them. No matter what. Don’t belittle someone that is struggling with their weight because it will NOT help. If you love them NO MATTER WHAT,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and show them that, I’m convinced they will have a better chance of evoking change in themselves.
The subject is OBESITY.
But yet I’ve conquered myself. I’ve conquered the gym. I can do a lot of things in the gym that thin folks cannot do. I can walk in a gym full of fit and trim people – and give the workout of my life with all eyes on me – and not give a good goddamn. How can I do that? Because I do not care what anyone else in that gym thinks. I only care what I think. What progress I’m making. I’m not going to blow smoke up your ass. It wasn’t always that way. It’s been a long process. But it’s been golden – every step of the way.
That left me and my older brother to raise ourselves. No parental guidance on which foods we should eat. Lots of prepackaged items in the fridge that we could easily make without burning the house down. Parent-less for all intents and purposes,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], I would drown my emotions and sorrow into food. I would eat anything I could get my hands on. It wasn’t very evident I was an emotional eater until later on during my childhood when the weight slowly started creeping on.
I would volunteer to say although their idea and direction WILL change many,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], many lives, it could be possibly sidestepping a critical group. The obese that are above school age. I firmly believe ANYONE and EVERYONE that is obese CAN and SHOULD be saved.
Be supportive and keep it real. Show them that you can be a bad ass in the gym – NO MATTER HOW BIG OR SMALL YOU ARE.
My good friend Roy and Dr. J have decided to tackle it in an inventive way – by reaching the children first. I’m sure they will make a difference in many lives and I find it very admirable.
A week ago – keeping focused and walking down that golden path…
I am still considered OBESE.